Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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