no, he came in my armpit
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
