Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
