tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You are a genius and a whore.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
