I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I want her autograph on my taint
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
