youre lurking in front of me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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