every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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