hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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