hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
