One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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