this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
