dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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