The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
