just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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