I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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