I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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