Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
