yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
