yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
