Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
