I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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