PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
