If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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