After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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