even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
