I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
