all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
