What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
