it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
