I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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