i think i have herpe
just one?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
