I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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