Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
