we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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