We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
