omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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