he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
birth control should be required to get into college
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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