Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
