i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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