It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
