guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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