i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
