I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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