I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
