Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
