I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
