She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
