Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
