anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
