You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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