The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
